He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
