considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
