I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
