Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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