This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
