So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
