someone get that fucking seahorse.
this just has baby written all over it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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