can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
