those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
