love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
