he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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