Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
