Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
