just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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