just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just pee around me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
