someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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