Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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