your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
