Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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