I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
