You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
