is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize