we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
