There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
