we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
