I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
