so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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