Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
someone owes me an orgasm
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
