you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Houston, we have a blender
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
