i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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