We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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