Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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