I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
