Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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