Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
