He is an equal opportunity slut.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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