It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
