apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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