K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were destined to go to rehab together
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
