i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
