and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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