Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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