there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
