I need help removing her.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
