Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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