...so i touched it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
