Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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