My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
