Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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