That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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